What is Your Story

Written by Karen Lyddane

June Cotter is the very image of a soul who has successfully negotiated Life’s twists and turns. June is honest, straightforward and guaranteed to give you an honest answer. Often, it is delivered with a twinkle in her eye and twitch to a corner of her lip. From June’s birthplace in Montreal, Canada, to her home at The Gardens in Fairfax, Virginia, this lady offers sage, learned advice about the assisted living lifestyle.

Before going there, let’s begin at the beginning. June and her brother were the children of a man who worked for Customs, checking baggage on trains. Their mother and his wife left the earth when June was only two years old. Her brother went into a boarding house and she eventually joined him. Life was challenging in Montreal as there were no buses or cafeteria but there was a lot of harsh weather!

Moving to Vermont for June meant being in the right place at the right time. A career move for Jim Cotter also sent him into the right place to meet and eventually wed June. His skills as a cryptologist pulled him away from South Korea and back to the United States, into CIA service. Jim Cotter’s best friend Dick Wells and June’s best friend Lynn Greenia “fixed them up.” After a bit of dating drama involving a pretty nurse and June’s honesty about breaking dates at the last minute, they wed. Jim was Catholic, June was Methodist. Her faith was converted into Catholicism, and she is faithful to this day, either with the Catholic faith activities on the premises, or in the comfort of her apartment, with a special electronic device.

June and Jim were together for 59 years. They brought two sons and two daughters into the world- Kevin, Janice, Bill, and Patty/Trish. June said Jim “was tall, dark and handsome, and a really funny man.” One time, Jim volunteered to coach the girls’ softball team. Although she was no seamstress, June remembers making felt cheerleader uniforms for many of the girls in their neighborhood, in gold and bright blue, then black with white pleats. The white was behind the black pleats.

Their children were the driving force in leading June and Jim to leave their ranch home in Vienna to live an independent lifestyle at The Woodlands Retirement Community. Their ranch home had stairs going to the basement, where the laundry room was located. Added to this concern was their bathtub. They made some improvements, but they just weren’t enough. Still, concern grew.

Jim and June lived this new lifestyle together for three years, until Jim’s passing. June resided in her lovely apartment for seven more years, then her own medical needs made a lifestyle decision. She moved next door to the sister community, The Gardens at Fair Oaks Assisted Living.

On the day of our interview, June was enjoying the lunch of Corned Beef & Cabbage (yes, it was St. Patrick’s Day) at a sunny table with her friends, also former residents of The Woodlands. June pronounced the Irish Soda Bread “just fine.” In all, she really likes the menus and has a great fondness for one of the staff members. Her apartment is well thought-out, and the view shows shaggy Birch trees amongst the chicken coop. She has new friends, mostly through the daily Bingo game time.

What was the hardest challenge in moving to The Gardens?
June found it quite hard to give up much of her furniture and memorabilia. The most concerning was where her things went – coming from a humble background added to the emotion. She mentioned the loss of her pots and pans, but a desk filled with items stayed in the family, and this settled her mind.

What is June’s advice about Assisted Living?

“You might not like it at first, but you do get used to it, and it is good.” June gave this honest perspective with her trademark twinkle in her eye and twitch to a corner of her lip. This 93-year-old, known as June Cotter, inspires with her youthful spirit that matches her looks (I guessed that she was in her middle 80s), helping those around her adapt to their own twists and turns in Life.

Written by Karen Lyddane

Six weeks after taking his first breath, Edward Conway’s family moved from Kansas City, Missouri, to Saint Paul, then Minneapolis. His father’s job, working for the Milwaukee Railroad, caused their moves. Railroads figured strongly throughout Ed’s youth. A well-placed word from his father, and Ed found jobs that put him through high school and college. This more or less decided his career.

Ed was very close to his mother. They’d spend lots of time together in the kitchen, she washed the dishes, he dried. Their conversations were a fine time of bonding and teaching. Once, he said to his mother: “You owe me a dog.” She countered with: “Wouldn’t you rather have a brother or sister?” “YES!” was his answer. Ed was the oldest of four, Steve, Pat and John followed. They adventured in the parks that were in three directions near their home. They’d swim in the neighborhood lake in summer and skated on it in wintertime. Ed enjoyed being taught for a time in school “by a contract Jesuit Priest.” What a boyhood!

A childhood event really formed his life-his parents took him to a parade hosted by the St. Thomas Military Academy. He was awed by what he saw and told his parents that “This is where I want to go.” He had no idea what he was getting into – this was a College Prep School! He’d successfully avoided Algebra and Latin-that was about to change!

Neither parent could advise with first-hand experience as they weren’t college-educated. They realized how much he wanted to go, so a way was found. He almost flunked out in his first year but caught up in the second – he graduated with honors. Ed found out that although book-learning languages left him cold, he enjoyed speaking them, and in the military he went into language. A great accomplishment was learning Hungarian and German.

A proud moment was when his kid brother (a 14-year difference in age) went to law school, as Ed had. His brother went even further-he became a judge! This was a proud moment for the whole family. Despite their ages, they were very close.

Ed went on to employment in the Interstate Commerce Commission and when the Department of Transportation was formed, he transferred to the Federal Railroad Administration. While there, he was under an order to start the first Federal Track Safety regulations, a task that had a one year deadline. With a co-employee, he met that deadline, although he admits that “They just made it.” Ed ended up his career as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force Intelligence.

Marie Monaco took his eye one evening as she entered the large room with her girlfriend. Ed was listening to a German Band, whose musicians were playing Irish music and wearing Lederhosen! He asked her to dance and that was it. She was from Providence, Rhode Island, and a schoolteacher for military children. Their courtship was “Wonderful-we were in occupied Germany then, and Americans were king! We travelled all over.” Gas was 15 cents a gallon when bought through the quartermaster. Imagine!

They both happened to be the oldest of their siblings, so they waited until going back to America for their wedding in Providence, Rhode Island, where Marie lived. Ed didn’t have sisters, and adjusting to living with a lady is a remembrance he readily recalls. Edward III, Janice, and Tom were born. Janice was considered something of a novelty, since girls just weren’t plentiful.

In November of 2003, Ed visited The Woodlands Independent Living community. Soon after, he placed a deposit for his future residency. Ed enjoyed almost ten years of a lifestyle that freed him up for new experiences, including a fast friendship with a special resident named Betty Long.

Moving to The Gardens became right when two circumstances came together. He’d become close to Betty, and she moved next door to The Gardens. At the same time, Ed found himself needing assistance with daily living. “I didn’t want her to be alone,” said Ed, as one of the reasons he moved. By a stroke of luck, they found lovely apartments near each other! So, they feel it was meant to be.

Living at The Gardens helps Ed allot. “I need to be here because now I don’t worry about meals, taking medications, and transportation. I like a big breakfast and it’s always great.” He’s quite fond of just being with others. “I’ve never had so many close friends in one place of different cultures” so his training in language continues to reward! You’ll find Ed sitting outside often, with a genuine smile of content.

Betty Long shares her signature smile as she enjoys the beautiful Autumn day.

Betty Coleman began life in Marshall, Texas, which is known as the “Wonderland of Lights” for holding one of the largest light festivals in the United States. Due to her diminutive size, Betty became known in High School as “Termite.” She lived there most of her youth and thankfully retained her soft accent!

In thinking about her life, Betty told of the wonderful time she had when friends introduced her to Harry Long. In that time, a popular recreational choice was to go to “Long’s Fish Camp.” Harry’s parents lived in a large home right off Caddo Lake, and there were cabins all around it. People rented those cabins, and Harry supplied them well with worms for their fishing poles. He earned good money doing that! They enjoyed the sunshine and fresh air together, found that marriage was in their future, and so Betty’s new last name became “Long.”

As a young couple, they faced some life-changing decisions. They both studied at Texas University. Betty and Harry had different ideas of career; while she enjoyed English and Philosophy, Harry wanted to become a CPA. They “had a fun time of it,” though, especially by riding around on his Harley-Davidson motorcycle. Betty became a legal secretary, and Harry’s dream of becoming an attorney was realized. Also, their dream of a family became reality, with the birth of two daughters.

Betty was volunteering full-time at the Information Desk at Saint Elizabeth’s Hospital in Marshall, Texas, when President Kennedy was shot. This is the most significant world event in her life. Harry was at work and Betty called him. He was shocked, with everyone else. “Oh goodness, that was something-we were all heartbroken.” Betty remembers transitioning from Black & White TV to Color. “Now, that was something else.”

Betty’s proudest achievement is marrying Harry and bringing two beautiful daughters into the world. Suzanne carried on the family tradition by becoming a CPA like her father, but cancer struck her down when she was 62. There was no evidence of the disease in the family, so Betty still wonders why. Her other daughter Debbie keeps a close eye on Betty, and when her father died, she encouraged her mother to move into the Fairfax area so they can be close.

Betty first moved into the independent living community, The Woodlands Retirement Community, where she enjoyed her life in many ways, including traveling with other residents on trips. A memorable time was seeing Bette Midler in New York in “Hello Dolly.” She found a special gentleman while living at The Woodlands, and their friendship is now seen at The Gardens. Being at The Gardens helps her world, with the kind staff, three meals a day, and all of the activities offered to people in wheelchairs. Bridge is where you’ll see her twice a week.

Betty’s smile comes easily to her, and it’s so easy to smile back in enjoyment of this wonderful lady.